BIG CHANGES in my life.

Well, there have been some big changes in my life since I last posted.
Probably the biggest is that RMM or Bene(fiber)von let me go. That's right, I am no longer employed by the company that tried to make attending a cult gathering (and paying for it) a requirement for employment.

I have not blogged about it for a few days for fear of saying something in anger. But the truth of the matter is, I never got angry about being fired (let go, but it feels like getting fired). I am angry that I lost three years of my life to that place. I hope that I can sort through the myriad thoughts going through my head and write a coherent post.

The hardest part of the whole process for me was getting kicked out of my routine. For three years I'd get up go to that job and know what to expect. The worst days were when there was a lot of Landmark talk or when it was "squiggly" time.

I would have to say that the lasting scars I will take from that job are mainly linguistic. My whole vocabulary got thrown out of wack and I am really having a hard time losing some of the stupider words/phrases. Here is a short glossary:

1)by-when n. (yeah a noun, wtf?) - Basically a due date or time.
2)ongoingly (no idea what part of speech this is) - when something occurs continually. For instance, "I check my email ongoingly." "It is my job to fix the f***ing copier ongoingly."
3)squiggly n.- an area of your job that has not been completed fully.

There are other words that came into play on a day to day basis (or ongoingly) that I have not included here. A smattering of Landmark terms come to mind. Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate Landmark (Education Group). I really don't.

In general, my outlook on life and my philosophy on life pretty much parallel the Landmark teachings. The major caveat though is that I do not agree with HOW they go about teaching. Pyramid scheming and charging exorbitant amounts of money to be stuck in a room for over 16 hours only to do it again for 3 days straight? I think I'd rather come to spiritual enlightenment some other way.

The other thing I don't like is that the only way to progress is to pay even more money! Should it get cheaper as you get deeper? Now, there are going to be people out there who will say, "Well, you've never attended the Forum, so you just don't get it." That's assuming that there is something to get, which there isn't, so no, I do not get it. What I do get is that it is a complete farce. Check out this french documentary. I get that Landmark is manipulative and has seriously harmed some people. I also get that they won't recognize that at all and that it's all about making lots of money. Werner Erhardt you're an asshole.

RMM/Benevon uses the Landmark teachings as their business model. When it became apparent that the company was hemhorraging money, they had to do something about it. They cut the people who had been there a long time (hence making more money that the rest) and were not doing absolutely essential jobs. I suppose that could be true in any business.

(I just had a little slip up thanks to the years at RMM/Benevon) I almost started writing how much it sucked that I lost my job. Or how much it sucks that I got fired. I was thinking of it as if I needed that job. RMM/Benevon managers do a GREAT job of making you feel like you're doing the absolute best you can and that is all your worth. The truth of the matter is, the 60 or so employees that have been through there (at least 20 in one dept) in the last three years have been amazing people. Ok, not all of them, there were some absolute wackos, but I can think of 16 people from the past two years alone that understood how much they were worth. They understood that there was better out in the rest of the world for them.

In case you don't know, RMM/Benevon usually has around 35 staff on hand at any given time. The list below is more than a list of initials. It is a partial list of the people who came through while I was there.

So to you; AN, EC, KK, CG, LD, KM, BW, BW, MW, JS, JD, JN, RL, CS, CB, RM, AJ, MJ, MK, RP, RS, TM, PB, KB, MM, GC, JH, MS, CD, AP, LJ, KJ, DT, MP, HS, SM, OJ, RH, NA, GS, LS, LH, AG, JR, SLP, YN, MK, WH, KA, DL, AE, SM, DH, RS, AR, AP and the few others who I can't remember right now, thanks for being there and leaving before me; thanks for showing me the way out; and thanks for welcoming me to the after party.

Thanks to JLS and DG for being nice to me.

(i'm cutting this short cuz it's midnite and I have to get up for my new job tomorrow. i'll post another blog that hopefully isn't as angry)



Please take this parting thought to heart. If you catch yourself getting bummed on working at RMM (or Benevon, whatever) you should quit. I found that it's a lot like living in NY, you should leave before it makes you cold. I didn't and it wasn't until I wasn't there anymore that I realized how much better life on the outside is.